Really Confused...HELP....

This was posted on a website under "days off".  I feel like I'm missing something...

If you know what it means...please let me know!

Thanks Zachary!

Babies for sale?

From Bob, "It just occurred to me that Toys R Us sells toys but Babies R Us doesn't sell babies."

Piano Playing

One student asked another, "Do you play the piano?"  (please note, this was WHILE watching the student play the piano on a video.) 

To which the student replied, "No, I just lip-finger." 

Not sure which one is Bob...

Oh Say, Can You See My Children???

In the scramble to get ready for the National Anthem, two Bob students managed to fall over each other.  One of them also managed to kick the other in, well, the groin.  Knowing it was the National Anthem and knowing he was not allowed to speak, this poor Bob student suffered through the anthem, only calling out occasionally that he would never have children. 

It was REALLY hard not to laugh!

R's are VERRRY Important

In researching pictures of the Uranus, a Bob student erroneously typed in "u anus" and well, the planet didn't show up.  BUT, other things did!!!

Exercising Veggies

My family was driving through a different city.

We saw a poster up for a farm festival. I think the mascot was some sort of a green pea. It was very muscular.

Suddenly, my Bob mom remarked that the pea was "broken".

I replied and said: "Mom, you mean ripped"

Thanks Luis!

Is it an M or a W?

When given a package of M&Ms and told to sort them, a Bob student asked if he should sort them alphabetically...

Music that Moves You

I was showing some students the Senior Slide Show.  A Bob student came in, and in hearing the music asked, "who died..."

I guess my choice of music is deadly...

Say What???

I guess I'm hard of hearing...today...

I thought one Bob student said, "What does green smell like?"  

And then later, "Does Jesus have a website?"  To which the reply was, "Yes, and it's maintained by the Holy Ghost!"

I need to listen better...

April Fool's Day

Bob showed up to school early on Monday.  He was amazed to be one of the first ones here.

After several minutes he began to wonder where everyone was.  He began texting friends and everyone was playing a horrible April Fool's Day Joke on him...They were telling him there was no school!!!

Sadly, it wasn't a joke.  Bob had driven an hour here, waited 45 minutes, and then drove an hour home...all that time could have been spent sleeping in!  Poor Bob!

OR were his parents playing an April Fool's Joke???  It would have been a good one!

Monkey Fruit

A Bob Student made a comment that he liked oranges.

I replied, "I like cuties."  Those adorable little oranges.

To which Bob replied, "Those aren't oranges, they are orangutans!"

Speak English?

One day, Bob's sister was telling their mom her schedule for classes.

She said she had Chorus, then English. Bob, who is six, was very confused as to why she was taking English.

He whispered to their mom, "But doesn't she speak English?"

Name Withheld

Good Lunch

A very lost Bob student wandered into my classroom as the bell rang for 2nd lunch.  He looked around, totally confused at the older students in the classroom.  

I asked him where he was supposed to be and he asked if it was just 2nd lunch.  I informed him 1st lunch had just ended.  He was so confused.

Well, I had told my students to "Have a good lunch."  Bob thought I meant, "Go to lunch" which is what he did.  Needless to say he missed the first 30 minutes of his next class.

I wonder if he got two lunches that day???

Define Normal!

One day, Bob was severely aggravated. 

So, trying to make a point to her mother, she said, "I was so mad I could have just imploded and exploded at the same time! Wait..... wouldn't that just be normal?" 

Needless to say, Bob's intensity was lost. 

And she lost the argument.

Submitted by someone who didn't understand the question.

In Search of Food

When Bob was four years old Bob was at a friend's house and it was lunch time and Bob wanted chicken fingers and we didn't have any. Bob went outside and sat in the grass for ten minutes and we stopped looking for a minute and when we came back Bob was gone. We were running and driving around the neighborhood yelling Bob's name and looking for Bob. After thirty minutes we could not find Bob, so we went to tell his parents and when we came in Bob was at the kitchen table eating chicken fingers. Bob turned to us and said,ʺ I wanted chicken fingers.ʺ

Name Withheld

Best Birthday Ever!

Bob had his 6th birthday on Saturday.

When trying to guess what was in his present, he asked if it was bagpipes.

Baffled, the rest of the family responded no, it wasn't bagpipes.

Bob exclaimed joyfully, "Good! I never even wanted bagpipes!"

We still don't know why he thought it was bagpipes...

Name Withheld

You're in Good Hands

While going over different slogans, we got to "You're in Good Hands"  which is Allstate Insurance.  

A Bob student declared, "Did you know Allstate isn't even in all states!" 

UN-Happy Birthday

The weather is going to be unseasonably warm this coming Friday.  I announced to my class that it was going to be 72 on Friday.

A Bob Student replied, "You're going to be 72 on Friday."

Well, I have to say I look pretty good for a 71 year old.  Of course, that would mean my husband would be married to someone his GRANDMOTHER'S AGE!!!

A Moment In Time

When I worked in public school, I had a real problem with students stealing stuff from my room.  We were on a block schedule, so every day I had the same students at the same time.  Someone stole the batteries out of my clock.  At exactly 10:32 a.m. I announced to the class that whomever had stolen my batteries needed to give them back.

An astounded Bob Student asked how I could possibly know someone in that class had stolen the batteries.  I just shrugged and looked at the clock, which had stopped at 10:32. 

The remorseful student gave back the batteries...

The Question of How

Just in case you are wondering...

I had a wonderful student, we shall call him, Bob, ask me how one gets on this website...

The answer...you must do something "Bob-tastic!" or go to www.bobstories.com  

Power of Brains

In teaching keyboarding, I encourage my students to let their brains think about which fingers to use, not to cheat and look down at the keyboard!  So one Bob Student, after realizing he could actually type without having to look at the keys, exclaimed, "My brain is actually smart!" 

Milk Pencils

I was so excited to get my box of 488 pencils.

A wonderful Bob student asked, "Are they two percent?" 

It took me awhile to figure that one out...They are actually skim...

Pink

I made some cookies for a bake sale.  I had a big sign that said "Strawberry Cookies."  Bob came up to the table and saw the bright pink cookies and asked, "What does pink taste like?"

I replied, "They are strawberry cookies."

To which Bob asked, "But what do they taste like?" 

Getting to Bob

The new www.bobstories.com website is up and running. 

Bob typed it in and reported, "This site has some guy playing a guitar."  He was at www.bobstory.com

He tried again and reported, "This site says Bob Stores."  He had typed bob stories into google and google thought he meant Bob Stores.

Finally, he got it right and exclaimed, "Here it is!"

Sometimes it's hard to get to Bob. 

Counting in Spanish

We have two different kinds of claps we can use in class.  One is quite simple, you clap 15 times.  It's called the 15.

So we were doing the "15" and one Bob student clapped two more times after everyone was done.

"I was counting in Spanish" he exclaimed...

Does Spanish have numbers I don't know about???

Bob Bobbettville

When showing students how to type up a PowerPoint into the Outline View, I got to the part where they were to type their names. 

So I said, "Type Your Name."  I then clarified, "Your actual name, not the words "Your Name." 

And about 7 Bobs said, "Oops..." 

Towel for Two?

The same two Bob students from the bunk bed incident, decided that to save money they would only buy one towel to dry themselves after bathing...they would share.

I think I'd get up EXTRA early to have the towel first!

YUCKY...

Bed Sandwich

While working on a project in which students had to purchase furniture for their apartments, two Bob students asked, "Do we have to buy the frames if we get bunk beds?"

I asked them how exactly that would work.  Would they lay down one mattress on the floor, have Bob 1 get on the mattress and then put the second mattress on top of Bob 1 and then Bob 2 would get on?  Like a sandwich???

They agreed they should probably buy the frames!

Or maybe not call them "bunk beds!"

Bob-o At Home Depot-o

I was at Home Depot and a very lost looking young man was trying to check out.  It was clear he didn't speak English.  A very nice elderly man, we will call him Bob, decided to help this young man check out. 

He said, "You scan-o here-o" and took the items and scanned them. 

 "You pay-o, here-o" and pointed to the place to insert money.

When his change came out Bob said, "Here-o is your change-o, You're rich-o"

The young man thanked Bob and Bob said, "Adios-o!"

Oblivious

It was the first time my students were typing prior to saying prayer.  When the time was up to type, I told my students to tap anyone on the shoulder who was being oblivious.  They all turned and began tapping each other on the shoulder.

Needless to say, the oblivious student who was listening to music, kept typing. 

When I asked them if they knew what oblivious meant, they said, "No."  I would have never guessed. 

Bob loves Taylor Swift

While typing for 15 minutes at the beginning of each class, Bob would listen to Taylor Swift.  He would get so into the songs that he would sing at the top of his lungs.  The rest of the class would get really quiet.  No one would even speak!  It was really interesting.  I didn't know if they liked to hear him sing or were embarrassed for him...

Mr. Smart

When I worked in public school, I was so excited when I got my brand new spiffy Smart Board.  I was out of school one day and my substitute had written, in PERMANENT marker "Mr. Smart" on my Smart Board.

It never did come off...Not so smart...

Bob Hates Publisher 3

I informed the class to shrink their business cards down to 70% to see what it will look like printed out.  Bob said that my screen didn't show what the printed card would look like.  To prove his point, he took a business card and came up to the board and placed it over the card.

OF COURSE it wasn't the same size...I HAVE A SMART BOARD!

Bob Hates Publisher 2

Bob had finished his business card.  When I looked at it, I noticed the font was REALLY small.  I told him he should fix that.  So he went to the bottom of the page and zoomed out.  "There," he declared, the font is bigger.  Needless to say, when I printed it out, he was upset the font was so small.  

Bob Hates Publisher 1

Bob was banging on his keyboard.  He was VERY upset.  When I went over and asked him what was wrong, he said his text wasn't showing up in the text box.  I looked over his shoulder I saw that he was typing in a white text box in white font.  When I pointed this out, he didn't see the problem. I told him to "select a" in the box and change the text to pink.  He did and was AMAZED when the text appeared.  

Hand Raised?

Bob had his hand raised.  So I called on him.  He said, while still raising his hand, that he didn't have his hand raised.

We took a poll...everyone EXCEPT Bob thought his hand was raised.

Bob Lunch

I was explaining how we always had 1st lunch.  Bob raised his hand and said, "Mrs. Likes, what about those special days when we don't have lunch?"  I replied, "We have first lunch."  To which he asked, "What about the days we get out early."  I replied, "We have first lunch."  Bob wrote in his agenda: "We always have first lunch.  On days special days when we don't have lunch, we have first lunch.  On days we get out early, we have first lunch." 

Bob Parent

I had a student email her project to her father.  In the project, the mother had sold more things in the pretend garage sale than the father.  The father, let's call him Bob, emailed me a very LONG letter telling me how much better a salesman he was than his wife and how she couldn't possibly have sold more items than he did!  It was a PRETEND garage sale!  His daughter made up all the prices! 

Final Project Woes

The final project in my class is to have a garage sale.  Bob came in one day all upset, nearly to tears.  He said he was going to fail the project because his mom wouldn't let him have a garage sale.  He felt so much better when I told him it was a pretend garage sale.  He was so relieved because he didn't even have a garage!  When I looked on his spreadsheet of items sold, he was selling a flat screen 50 inch tv for $50!  I can see why his mom wouldn't let him have a garage sale!

Hand Raising Trick

I was teaching my class to raise their hands and close their mouths.  I told them that when they raised their hands, their mouths closed.  The goal being, for them not to call out my name when they raise their hands.  One Bob student, determined to see if it actually worked, was trying to make his mouth close automatically when he raised his hand.  Needless to say, he couldn't do it, and he raised his hand and called out, "Mrs. Likes, mine doesn't close when I raise my hand."  

Perception

It never fails when I am teaching students how to crop a picture that some Bob Student will make the comment:  "Yours is bigger than mine."  Or "Mrs. Likes, yours is huge."  To which I always reply, "Mine is a smartboard and yours is a computer monitor, of course mine is bigger than yours!"  To which they always ask if they should make theirs as big as mine. 

Time to Go

I was teaching students the different tabs on Word.  I said, "Go Home."  Bob, bless his heart, put on his blazer, turned off his computer, put on his backpack and started for the door.  I asked, "Sweetheart, what are you doing."  He replied, "You said go home!"  I replied, "It's only 10 in the morning!"  He said, "But you said go home!" 

It Goes Away

Bob raised his hand and said, "Mrs. Likes when I hit delete it goes away!"  I really didn't know what to say.  That's probably the only time I've been speechless.  I didn't know if he was happy or upset.  Finally, he smiled and I said, "Good Job."